Oh, Swanny.

I have a partially torn achilles tendon which has restricted my physical activity to nothing. Next Wednesday, I’m allowed to start walking a very slow ONE mile a day. I may actually be going crazy. How do you burn off nervous energy?

I just read my epic New Years post from last year and assume you are all wondering if I stuck with my resolutions and am still scared shitless of the future. Here’s what’s up.

2012 was a HUGE year of change for me. I did end up finishing my thesis project, and after a two-hour oral defense in which I drank half a liter of water and rambled about Prince Hamlet in comparison with Willy Loman, I was approved for graduation. I also got a gig as a production assistant for a new musical called Surf. I made shit for money but I honestly thought it was going somewhere and hoped that I would be employed with that show for a good chunk of time. This was not the case AT ALL. They were finished with me on opening night and, in any case, the show got its closing notice after three weeks. That was a harsh dose of theatre reality. I went to Oklahoma for a few days, came back to Vegas and spent two horrifying weeks unemployed. I started applying for hotel/retail jobs. This was probably the lowest point of the year for me. I had just spent three years getting an MFA and I was praying to get a job at Forever 21. I was definitely starting to feel like a huge failure/piece of donkey shit.

Then, it all fucking changed. The day before I was supposed to interview at Urban Outfitters, I got a call from my good friend Jen. She offered me a year long contract to PA at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival. To be honest, my immediate reaction was, “hell no, I’m not leaving Vegas to go work in Montgomery, Alabama. Are you kidding me?” But I thought about it. I talked to my mom. I talked to Alex. At the end of the day, my degree is not in folding shirts. It’s in theatre. Theatre is what I love and it’s what I need to be doing. So I took the gig which started three weeks later. Leaving Las Vegas was heartbreaking and exciting and something I was absolutely not expecting to do.

After being at ASF and meeting so many different people from all over the country, Ive come to realize that my life will probably be full things I don’t expect. 90% of the people in this business don’t know what or where their next job is going to be. I’m slowly but surely becoming less scared of the future and accepting the fact that if I trust myself and my stage manager skills, I will work. And I’ll be fine. And my life is probably going to be full of heartbreaking goodbyes, but at the same time, it will also be full of exciting new hellos.

So about my resolutions from last year:

Reading more: ehhh. Thanks to the Hunger Games and the Huff Post election coverage, I give my self a C+

Ignoring the kardashians: A+. And my life is way better for it. Ignore those skanks.

Sticking to a budget: this didn’t really kick in until I came to ASF and it became absolutely necessary. ASF is amazing and I love it but I did not say I’m making the big bucks. B-

More Adventures: I moved my life to Alabama…. A.

Loving my body: Galll. Do I love my body? Not really. But I am thankful for my body. I have two legs that allow me to run, a pretty nice head of hair, and skin that gets real tan in the summer months. I am extremely lucky and still working on the “loving” thing. C.

My resolution this year is to give up Starbucks. I don’t need it. It’s insanely overpriced and I’m perfectly capable of making my own coffee. So eff you, Starbucks. We’ll see how long this lasts.

I hope you all learned invaluable life lessons in 2012 and will continue to do so in 2013. Live, laugh, and fucking love life.

Nothing depresses me more than thinking about the fact that Meryl Streep will probably die during my lifetime.

they say if you’re working in theatre, there are three ways to measure your job.

1. The place you work.

2. The people you work with.

3. The money you make.

If you’re happy with 2/3 of these things, you’re succeeding. 

So, I guess I’m succeeding, but eeefffffffff, it’s hard.

Is sooo Awesome. 

It is infuriating to me how people post things about “weak” natural disasters. Are you seriously wishing that earthquake would have been bigger so you “could have felt it more”?! Are you really “disappointed in hurricane Isaac”?! WTF is wrong with you people!? You should be thanking your lucky stars, or counting your lucky stars, or however the fuck that phrase goes! Mother Nature has no qualms about fucking killing you, you stupid dick wrinkles. And you want her to “bring it”!

I don’t get it.

Die in a fire.

I just want to point out that I spent Saturday night in Seattle, Sunday night in New Mexico, Monday night in Oklahoma City, Tuesday night in Shreveport, and last night in Montgomery. How am I functioning?

I hold shopping-cart auditions. Sorry squeaky carts, you’re not getting into my show.  You make me want to hit puppies.